Thu, 09 Jul 2020 14:44:47 GMT

i am a failure

i am not diong what gives me the most joy
even if i did i am not making what i would like to make

i dont know how to get out of this rut

and i dont know how to be me
i try not to but i still live to please others
i wear a mask to make everyone else comfortable

am i felix? am i someone else? do i even know anymore?
i am not me, and i feel that in my bones in a way that i cant stand anymore
but even if i change my outward body it doesnt matter, it isnt the same
i cant be me
i will never be me

my whole life has been a waste

when i speak people act like im a moron
when i try to express my pain or frustration it is ignored
when i am sick i am told im faking it

my family doesnt care
so why should i

do I have friends? do i even know what a friend is?

i thought i was ok

i am not ok anymore

it doesnt matter
not even me

when im gone whenever that may be in a year or less no one will even remember i was here

writing this hoping i can shake myself out of it
i dont know that i can

maybe

we will see

or maybe we wont

who cares

comments

Testing

Wed, 01 Jan 2020 08:20:19 GMT

Testing!

comments

felixavenier

Testing